Only one or the last resort

Friends?

I got a bunch of them.

I think so.

True friends not a lot but quite a few.

I guess so.

Not true?

Maybe I am too confident on that.

Always I thought I have quite a number of friend will back me up no matter what.

But I guess today I have to doubt the things that I always believe.

I am only true friends when there is no other choice .

When it comes to a group then I guess I an the last resort.

The insignificant one!

Do not agree with this?

Prove me wrong then.

Lets pray

Let pray that your result is not true,

please dont think much it will be okay.

think positive and bear in mind that i will always be there for u.

ps: you may never know this post exist

Cross the line

I am ought to be treated this way,

I had cross the line,

I betrayed our friendship,

I make things harder,

and now is the time to pay back.

Nothing will be the same again,

is time to go back to the time before I know you,

I deserve all this shit because I just cannot control myself.

My weaknesses is I never learn from past experience.

Now

Everything seems to be wrong in the group.
For others who are not in the group will think that our group is a happy group with no conflicts,
but no.
I guess this is a group with most conflict,
things reshuffle every time,
the same thing happen again and again,
the only different is the victim.
Can all of you just sit down and talk about it.
Cos if this continue, I guess the next one will be me again.
And seriously, I do not want to be stuck in the middle and force to make a stand.
FYI the feeling really sucks.
I HATE it a lot.

DId My Best

Seriously what do you want me to do?

What I can say I did my best.

I try not get near you when he is around,

I try not to talk to you when he is around,

I know if both of us is beside you at the same time,

you will stress out,

that's why i back off whenever he is around.

I never try to compete,

I never try to prove that I am better than him,

I just do things because they will cheer you up and make you happy.

I do not blog this to tell you what did I do for you,

I just don't know what to do that can avoid piss you off,

Why take this so serious?

Because I care.

Not to like you anymore?

I am sorry I can't.

Expectation

What do I expect now?

Seriously nothing at all.

I hate myself now.

I just do not know,

it seems like nothing is ever important anymore,

my future, my family, my friends.

What happen to me seriously?

Appreciate

In this world some people get what they want but they dont appreciate it,
but there is a group of people that want something so badly but cannot get what they want.
It is just the same when it comes to love.
Some people get a chance to be together with the one they love,
because they love each other.
After having it, they just do not know how to appreciate it,
and take it for granted.
How bout the one that cannot get together to the one they love?
They will sacrifice, change, and do anything to get together with that persom.
I guess that is the difference between wanting it and having it.
Cause less likely human will appreciate what they already got.

Jar of Hearts

Love the metaphors used in this song.
Nice song =)

Now

I do not know.
I do not want to.
I do not let this happen.
I do not want it to happen.
I wish I can express my feelings now.
I am not emo.
Neither happy.
Neither sad.
I am just do not feel like talking.
Somehow I just lost my emotions.
I am not lost anymore.
I just lost my passion in everything.

J

You are a very nice girl,
Is girl that is good at socializing,
A girl that I do not have a problem telling all my problem to,
You are the one still believe and accept me as a friend when everyone decide to ignore me.
Yes I have to agree that at one point you disappoint me,
at that point you just prove what I believe about you are all wrong.
Is just like you are a total different person that I know.
After awhile I realized I being biased towards you,
I am sorry I doubt you for who you are.
It will not happen again.
After all you are still who you are.
The things change in between is just my thought not you.

A

A girl that I think is stupid, bimbo, try to produce conflict in the group.
I hated her for quite long or you can say the whole year of 2010.
But now the feeling had passed.
What I can say she had earned my respect.
She is a bitch when do not know her inside out.
But after she recognize you as a friend than be prepared
She will treat you totally different.
yes she may be still bitchy.
She may have certain pattern that make people dislike her.
But what can I say is who does not?
At least I do not take it as a problem because I am not perfect as well.

SO

If anyone ever asked me who is the hardest person for me to blog now.

It will be you for sure.

The reason is the post will be bias.

You are a girl that I started to noticed since form 4.

The first impression you gave to me is this girl looks like a maid

but somehow I just cannot stop looking at you.

You are a emo girl but when I see you,

you just make my day.

You complain a lot but the way you complain things is just funny.

You are a very straight forward person but people just like you to be that way.

You get freak out easily but at the same time you feel bad easily.

You take other's problems too personally but treat yourself very badly.

The time you spend on other's issues is more than your own issues.

You are capable of doing all the emotions in the world -.-.

and make everyone laugh.

You are great now.

If you think of making a change,

what I can say is just stay the same.

N

A girl that I had a crush before,
A girl I thought that is perfect when i like her.
But after the feeling past she is not.
What i can say now she is not far from that.
She is a girl that think too much and like to make things complicated.
Or should I say that all the girl likes to make things complicated.
She is loud, lame and crazy when she is high.
How often she get high?
Basically two third of her life.
And yes she get high about everything surrounded by her.
She is a girl I never regret knowing.
A girl that that I tell her all my problem and most of my secrets.

You are just like my younger sister now.

Misunderstand

Sometimes we want to express our thoughts,

but words just cannot express what we think.

When we try to express it through words misunderstanding happens,

I think that is how drama, hatred and conflict form.

Degree of control

When it comes to a relationship,

there are a group of people that want a full control on their partner,

some of them just want total freedom,

some will prefer to have control but have some freedom at the same time,

which one will you prefer?

Sign

Everything happen for a reason.

Some people takes it as in a sign,

a sign that god give to make a right decision,

a sign to make a change,

a sign to get into a relationship,

will you?

Think Twice

Everyone had definitely made some mistake that they will regret,

so what we can do to avoid it is just think twice,

think twice when you are sober and can think rationally,

if you think that decision is the best solution then just do it,

but do it with no regret.

Beware

All the disappointment, frustration and jealously had been controlling my mind,

I had lost myself for the past two month,

I had enough of all the drama, conflicts and hatred,

if possible just keep me away from that.

I had enough of that,

because today is the day that I found myself back,

so beware the real old Jason will be back!!!

Choice

Everyone has their own choice on any decision in their life.

They do not have to change because of anyone.

I am sorry that I get angry over that.

Seriously I am sorry that I got mad at you all.

I owe you all an apology.

I am really sorry.

Tissue paper

Oh okay. no problem is okay.

I guess that is the only thing I can say right?

Cause I had never given a choice,

I was only told when the decision is made.

I feel myself is like a tissue paper I will be there for you all whenever you all need me,

but after you all used me,

you all just throw me into the bin.

It is not the first time and it will not be the last time I guess.

I guess sorry would not work this time,

cause I am sick of being a tissue paper.

Normal?

We promise each other things will not change,

and I think I keep the promise because all the while I am treating you the same,

at least this is what I think.

Maybe before I say it out you do not realized it,

and after things are clear you found out things that you do not realize last time,

so you think that things have been different,

and you get annoyed.

I am sorry but if possible tell me what do you mean by normal and I will do it.

Nothing to be sorry about

There is nothing for you to sorry about,

cause seriously that is not your fault at all.

The problem is me that cannot accept the fact that this happens.

Indeed I think you should do this more often to me.

Seriously this may helps me to forget you or give up,

cause I always believe or at least till now I am still believe.

Friends

People always say that you have a to have at least a true friend in your life

to make your life to be complete.
True friend is someone that understands you and will tolerate with all your weaknesses.

They may shoot you straight in your face but

they are not trying to hurt you instead they want you to know what you are doing is wrong.

They want you to be a better person,

to be a person that know yourself better.

They will be there for you whenever you need them.

They will support whatever decision you make
even they think your decision may be wrong.

Have you found one?

I am glad that I found a few of them.